My sexual orientation is straight
to the computer when I wake up
i identify as a rabbit
I love paradoxes
wow, exactly how many loops are in this one? like four?
AGHH I LOVE THIS
Damn 9 would hate this “no this is not fantastic u little bitch what did i say about paradoxes”
Outside England ‘s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, it’s parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1.40 for cars and £7 for buses.
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo’s own responsibility.
The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.
The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy … is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day — for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds … and no one even knows his name.
What a man!
I remember when this happened, it was probably the greatest local news story we ever had.
It reminds me of when I was at work the other day and thinking that the perfect scam would be to pretend to be a Salvation Army bell-ringing person and then keep the money for yourself.
No but I can just imagine a person bursting through the door screaming “I NEED YOUR HELP. IT’S A NINE” and everyone in the shop stops and all collectively goes “Oh shit” and the florists start working frantically while the man/woman just stands there looking scared as fuck while the other customers are trying to figure out what they did.
why am I laughing so hard right now.
I saw this and started choking on AIR
COME BACK I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERS DEATH
IM FROM THE FBI
THE FBIjared stop bothering those people
I keep forgetting how terrifyingly huge moose (mooses? meese?) are
the amount of sass in this scene is astounding
so sometimes I feel weird about drawing porn for money
but then i walk into my mom’s bakery and see her making penis cupcakes for a bacholette party
i think making dicks runs in the family
is that one ejaculating
THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO CAN STAND NEXT TO BEYONCE AND STILL BE THE MOST FABULOUS PERSON IN THE ROOM
That moment when you realize that the Doctor quoted Toy Story.
What about the Lion King?
Or Mary Poppins?